As I sit down to write this post, the sun is streaming into my kitchen. Charlie the cat is cleaning himself in a sort of lazy half hearted fashion, and I am surrounded by fruit and flowers, and the smell of a cake prepared for the coming Sabbath arising from the kitchen stove, discernable despite the clouds of cigarette smoke that I have created over the writing table.
On the surface, one might suppose that all was well. But I have been suffering from a cold, a flu or a virus in the last few days… in fact, since the eve of the new year… and maybe even since the beginning of this week, when I had a most unusual incident of a flat tire. In fact, I tried to write about it earlier this morning, and didn’t like the way it turned out. A flat tire is a rare event for me. I think I haven’t had one for about 20 years. And this particular flat tire forced me to realize that a lot of things have changed… including the way the wheels of automobiles are manufactured… since I last changed a tire. And this first incident was followed by others in which bad luck, poor taste, and social misdemeanors caused me a few embarrassments.
Could it be just a coincidence? Or was that flat tire a forecast of the mean mood that assailed me along with the minor illness which soon had me choking and unable to swallow a piece of food… or even to swallow a gulp of water. Was the physical illness a manifestation of the mean mood… or was it just the reverse? I don’t know. But I’ve reached the point where I don’t trust myself. I started writing three times today, and each time, I found it completely uninspiring to read what I’d just written. Looked for some recent pictures, but nothing really grabbed me. So forgive me, my friends… this is just to let you know that I’m still here. And with a little luck, I’ll have something to say next week… and meantime, I’m going to read some good things that others have written.